Not much Happend except my mom was ripped off by a scam, My grandma has serious heart problems and is in rehabilitation, my aunt was in the hospital and her body is slowly breaking down, my uncle and my cousin were both in the nut house, i'm poor, my other cousin's trailer burned down, my friend move to north carolina, i started cutting, i'm more suicidal, i miss my social security hear cause the judges sec. gave me the wrong address (meaning I have to wait to get a job till May), and yeah...life is getting worse. Flashbacks are occuring as well as "guilt attacks", which I've been getting since I can Remember. I was molested by a boy i was infatuated with... he later harrassed me as much as possible...because i told people what happend i feel this stupid feeling like it was my fault and I had no right to talk about it. I know I shouldn't feel this way...I think "i'm so close to that pill bottle...this can end". I'm in a total state of inertia and there's nothing I can do. I feel so lost.